Imagine you have a dear friend who needs your help in resolving an issue or at least shedding light on it.

Your friend may need guidance on a career change, a relationship question, help with time management, money management, or how to assert themselves more.

So you happily hear your friend out, without interruptions, putting aside your personal opinions. But this is not an ordinary conversation. Rather, it’s a heartfelt exchange in which your friend speaks their mind and you practice reflective listening, tuning in to their emotional state, with their highest good in mind.

If you’ve ever had such a conversation, did it seem like your responses came from within your being, from your higher self rather than your mind?

Were you perhaps amazed at what came through? And was your friend deeply helped by what you spoke?

You see, this was not an ordinary conversation. Rather, it resembles a professional coaching session, in which the coach puts their opinions aside, tunes into the emotional state of the client, practices reflective listening, and gently guides the conversation toward the client’s desired outcome.

If the client is receptive and if the coach is a good listener and asks probing questions, professional coaching can be a magical experience!

The scenario you’re describing is at the heart of what makes professional coaching so powerful and transformative. In this context, the coach is not offering advice or solutions based on their own experiences or opinions. Instead, the coach listens deeply and empathetically, tuning into the emotional and psychological state of the person they’re working with—the “client” in this case. The goal is to help the client find their own answers, tap into their inner wisdom, and move forward in a way that aligns with their values, desires, and aspirations. This process can feel magical, not just for the client, but also for the coach. Here’s why:

1. Reflective Listening and Empathy:

The essence of coaching involves active, reflective listening, which is different from just hearing someone speak. The coach listens not only to the words being said, but also to the feelings, intentions, and unspoken emotions beneath those words. This means truly being present and attuned to the person in front of you. By reflecting back what the client shares—both their words and the emotions behind them—the coach helps the client feel heard and understood, which is incredibly powerful in itself.

Reflective listening creates an environment of safety and trust, where the client feels comfortable expressing themselves openly. It allows the coach to ask insightful, probing questions that encourage the client to explore their thoughts and feelings more deeply. Through this process, clients often experience moments of self-discovery and clarity.

2. The Coach’s Role:

In coaching, the professional’s role is to create space for the client to explore their own mind and heart, rather than imposing their own ideas or solutions. The coach’s intuition, guided by training, helps them discern when to ask a powerful question, when to sit in silence, and when to gently nudge the conversation forward. The best coaches don’t tell their clients what to do; instead, they guide them toward insights and realizations that lead to transformation.

This is where the “higher self” idea comes into play. As the coach listens deeply and taps into their own intuitive understanding of the person they’re working with, they can facilitate a conversation that feels almost effortless and yet deeply profound. It’s as if the conversation is unfolding from a place of wisdom beyond the rational mind. Coaches often report feeling as though their responses come from a deeper, more intuitive space rather than just their cognitive, logical thinking. This allows the conversation to flow organically and feels “right” to both the coach and the client.

3. Self-Discovery and Empowerment:

A key aspect of professional coaching is empowerment. Clients are encouraged to find their own solutions, to look inward for answers, and to trust their own abilities and intuition. This can feel like a powerful shift from a more traditional problem-solving approach, where someone else might provide a roadmap or checklist of steps. In coaching, the focus is on the client’s growth and self-reliance. The coach is there to help the client discover what’s true for them, not to impose a solution from the outside.

When clients find their own answers, they often feel a sense of ownership and agency over the decision-making process, which leads to greater confidence and commitment to the next steps. This self-discovery aspect of coaching often surprises both the client and the coach. The realization that the answers were always within the person, waiting to be unearthed, is profoundly satisfying and can catalyze lasting change.

4. Powerful Questions:

One of the key tools in coaching is asking powerful, open-ended questions that encourage deep reflection. These questions aren’t about getting the client to answer quickly or logically. Instead, they invite the client to pause, explore, and feel into the question. Examples of powerful questions might include:

• “What would you like to create for yourself in this situation?”
• “What feels like the most authentic choice for you?”
• “How do you want to feel in the next year? What can you do now to make that happen?”
• “What would it look like if you believed everything is possible?”

These types of questions don’t have easy or quick answers, and that’s the point. They invite the client to think in new ways, reflect on their values, and explore possibilities they may not have considered. Through this process, the client becomes more self-aware and gains clarity about their desires and goals.

5. The “Magical” Element of Coaching:

What often feels “magical” in coaching is the alignment between the client and the coach, the sense that the conversation is unfolding in just the right way at the right time. This sense of flow and insight doesn’t come from a set formula or prescriptive advice—it arises from the collaborative nature of the relationship, where both the coach and client are fully present. Clients often report that something about the conversation “clicked” or that they had an aha moment, where everything suddenly made sense. This is the moment where the client begins to tap into their own inner wisdom, and it’s incredibly fulfilling for both parties.

At its best, coaching offers a transformative experience where the client gains clarity, shifts their mindset, and feels empowered to take action toward their goals. This process can lead to profound personal growth, whether the client is navigating a career change, a relationship issue, or any other life transition.

6. The Client’s Desired Outcome:

The ultimate goal of coaching is to help the client move toward their desired outcome, whatever that may be. This can be more confidence in themselves, improved time management, clearer goals, or a healthier mindset around money or relationships. In coaching, the client’s vision is always the focus, and the coach works with the client to help them get closer to that vision, step by step. The client might not even know exactly what they want when they first come to the coach, but through the process of reflection and exploration, they begin to clarify what’s most important to them.

7. The Power of Presence:

In the best coaching relationships, both the coach and the client are fully present in the moment. The coach isn’t thinking about what to say next or how to fix the problem, but instead is tuned in to the client’s feelings, emotions, and thought patterns. This focused presence creates a space where the client feels deeply seen and understood, which is essential for growth and transformation.

In conclusion, professional coaching is a deeply collaborative, reflective, and empowering process. It’s not about giving someone all the answers, but about helping them discover the wisdom they already hold within themselves. When done well, coaching can feel magical because it taps into a profound sense of insight, clarity, and personal growth, leading to meaningful change and fulfillment.